Every few months, I sink into a deep existential crisis where I question everything — who I am, what I’m doing, the point of it all. It feels like getting sucked into a vicious grinder that pulverizes any sense of purpose I created for myself. Or like waking up on the wildest rollercoaster ride and never having signed up for it. Or like getting crushed by a tsunami and simultaneously wandering through vast emptiness.
It can be… a lot.
So naturally, I started investigating these existential crises like an explorer observing a malicious, unknown species. I still panic whenever they hit me. But once the dust of an existential breakdown has settled, I reach the same conclusion every time: Having an existential crisis is an essential feature of being human. It’s a vital tool to gain purpose. And it’s worth confronting it.
Here are three ideas on how to deal with an existential crisis — and why it matters.
1. Existence Precedes Essence
If we’re dealing with an existential crisis, it helps to understand why we’re having it in the first place. So here’s the deal:
To have an existential crisis is to realize that life is meaningless and absurd. All our actions suddenly seem irrelevant — going to the office, taking a shower, cooking dinner. Everything we were told to deem important is actually just a construct by the human mind or society. In the long run, we’re all dead. Nothing really matters.
This is not so bad.
I typically feel the hungriest for life right after a deep existential crisis. Because what it helps me realize is that social norms and cultural expectations are just that: norms and expectations. But not reality. Reality is what you create yourself.
In fact, it’s crucial to realize that there’s no pre-defined purpose, no true calling, and no secret reason the universe summoned us. Why? Because it allows us to act out our own interpretation of life. It’s as if we’re all handed an anonymous script and turn it into a creative performance rather than toss it in the trash.
That’s what Jean-Paul Sartre encapsulated in his pithy punchline, “existence precedes essence.” This means, essentially, that you spring into life without any obligations or duties whatsoever. Instead, you propel yourself toward existence. You define meaning by your actions.
I find that deeply consoling.
For one thing, it takes off the pressure of needing to follow a clear-cut path in life. For another, it opens up the possibility of changing your purpose throughout life. An existential crisis is important because it reminds us of these opportunities.
2. Pillars of Meaning
Existential crises hit me the heaviest when, like an overconfident poker player, I previously went all in on one big thing. See, I would concentrate my entire energy on one project, one relationship, or one city. The longer I’d do this, the more this one thing would claw itself into my identity, as a parasite infiltrates its host. And so, when this singular purpose ceases to exist, my entire existence goes along with it.
No safety net.
For instance, I used to make writing the existential center of my universe. I built my entire identity around it. Everything I did was, in one way or another, geared toward becoming a more prolific writer — how I ate, how I slept, what I read. The habit, the habit, the habit. So imagine what happened when I got physically or mentally sick. I couldn’t take it. To stop writing meant to stop existing. It’s as if I had built my shelter of life on one fragile pillar.
Why, I asked myself, would I do something so stupid?
One of the clues I found lies in our language. Have you ever noticed that we rarely use words like “purpose,” “meaning,” or “calling” in plural? We’re primed to think these words can only exist in singulars. Many people only ever ask about the meaning of life, and nobody considers there could be multiple meanings.
It’s a terrible habit.
A more reasonable and sustainable approach is to diversify. Rather than using one pillar to build your life’s foundation, consider using three, four, or more. Because if one of them crumbles, you won’t have to rebuild your entire house. While you look for the next-best pillar, you can trust that your house will weather the storm.
Ultimately, we should dare to use and create “purposes,” “meanings,” “callings,” “loves,” “passions,” and other unconventional plurals. Even if they roll off the tongue rather awkwardly.
3. The Revolution That Anything Is Possible
Another idea I find helpful for dealing with an existential crisis is that it’s a natural reaction to modern life. Getting existential doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Quite the opposite: it’s a sign of depth. And perhaps, it’s even a wake-up call. A revolution.
Whatever it was that launched you into this crisis — something clearly isn’t working anymore. Something needs to change. And the great thing about having all sense of meaning erased from your life is that you can architect an entirely new foundation. Life has handed you pencils, rulers, and humungous sheets of blank paper.
Anything is possible.
Of course, this can quickly gain a special flavor of overwhelm. Søren Kierkegaard calls it “anxiety.” This anxiety isn’t the fear of a teeth-clenching lion but rather getting dizzy from all the new-found freedom within yourself. It’s like going to a restaurant and the chef telling you to ignore the menu because he’ll prepare you anything you want.
The result? Paralysis.
However, it helps to remember that you’ve made certain choices in the past. It doesn’t matter if they were good or bad choices. The point is that you have data. You can use the dishes life already served you as a starting point. Except, this time, why not mix it up a little? Maybe add a fresh sauce, some spices you never tried, or an olive on top.
In a strange, liminal way, you already know what you want and don’t know what you want. The world may have created you, but now you can create the world.
At the end of the day, having an existential crisis is not a descent into madness. It’s an invitation to gain a deeper insight into life. It’s a wake-up call to purge predefined concepts and expectations. It’s a tool for finding fresh purpose(s). And not surprisingly, we find ourselves in the company of humanity’s deepest thinkers.