I’m so stupid. It’s all my fault. How could I let this happen to me? My thoughts spun like a carousel as I walked along an empty beach, somewhere in the North of Portugal. Waves crashed into the shore like relentless soldiers storming sandcastles. Hungry seagulls screamed into the salty air. Grains of sand shimmered in…
In the summer of 2017, I got lonely without knowing it. I remember feeling uneasy at the time. Anxious, restless, constantly craving distractions. But loneliness? I didn’t even consider it. A few weeks earlier, I had moved away from home and into a one-bedroom apartment. It was my first time living all alone. And I’d…
“I don’t believe the cure for loneliness is meeting someone, not necessarily. I think it’s about two things: learning how to befriend yourself and understanding that many of the things that seem to afflict us as individuals are in fact a result of larger forces of stigma and exclusion which can and should be resisted.”…
Kaboom! Before the young man could realize what he’d done, a tamping rod half his size blasted through his left cheek, exited the top of his skull, and landed a train car’s length away from him. The year was 1848. The place was a railway construction site in Vermont. The man was Phineas Gage. What…
In early 2022, I found myself in a strange situation. I had just moved to Portugal, trying to make a living from full-time writing. Behind me lay months of isolation due to the pandemic and years of frustration due to a career I didn’t enjoy. Portugal was my ticket to salvation, connection, and happiness. It…
In the lonely wintertime, I often sit at my desk to observe the houses across from me. Not to spy, be nosy, or play Big Brother. I simply want to see signs of light, signs of life. When dusk sets in, the spectacle begins. Lights are switched on, and TVs start flickering. I start feeling…
I stared at the screen. Flabbergasted, I scrolled through the search results. “Loneliness: the Silent Killer.” “The Detrimental Effects of Loneliness on Your Health.” “Loneliness as Dangerous as Smoking 15 Cigarettes a Day.” These weren’t the headlines I’d hoped to find amidst a period of grave loneliness. I actually looked for ways out of my…
It’s the most merciless environment you could possibly imagine. Extreme radiation. Temperature differences of 275°F. Meteorite hazard. Zero oxygen. An infinitely dark vacuum. But the toughest part about space — as veteran astronaut Scott Kelly once said — is “being away from your loved ones, your friends, your family.” Space is a breeding ground for loneliness. And considering that…
Loneliness is not the same as being alone. You can feel lonely in a crowd, in marriage, and, of course, in isolation. Being alone is objective and neutral, whereas loneliness is personal, painful, and multi-faceted. And yet, our conversation around loneliness is marked by one-dimensionality and a lack of vocabulary. We sum up loneliness with…
A few years ago, on a frosty winter night, my loneliness hit so bad that I curled up in front of my radiator. I wanted to replicate human warmth. I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel something. But there was nothing. My chest felt like an airlock that was accidentally opened in outer space,…