It’s been more than a week since I finished Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life. But the characters are still with me. I think about them when I make coffee, stroll through the woods, or meet a friend for dinner.
And I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Because A Little Life is inarguably the saddest book I’ve ever read. By far. I’m serious: A Little Life is on the top of the tower of sad books I’ve read, and then you have to descend an endless stairwell to reach the second-saddest book.
So, let me explain what makes this book so sad — and why you probably shouldn’t read it. (No major spoilers.)
What Is ‘A Little Life’ About?
The book follows four friends after college navigating through the tempests of life in New York City. There’s charming, good-looking Willem, an aspiring actor. We have talented architect Malcolm, who feels stuck at a prominent firm. There’s witty, short-fused JB, a painter trying to make a name for himself in the art scene.
And then there’s Jude — the actual main character of this book. Jude is quiet, enigmatic, and brilliant. And he has a complicated, horrifying past. The trauma from his childhood haunts his every move in adulthood and condemns his life in more ways than he could have ever imagined.
What You Should Know About ‘A Little Life’
First, this is an unconventional storyline. You see, most stories follow the same old pattern of five reproducible steps:
- A character wants something,
- struggles to get it,
- has a revelation,
- defies the odds and is successful, and finally
- lives happily ever after.
This book is the opposite.
It introduces characters, makes you care deeply about them, and disassembles them like fine clockwork. The author’s idea was to write a book where the characters get continually worse. Well, what can I say? She nailed it.
Second, A Little Life is a hybrid between a contemporary novel and a fairy tale. What does that mean?
Most notably, there are no historical elements of time. Although the novel plays in NYC, 9/11 never happens. Instead, we’re guided through time with recurring events like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays. I liked that because it makes the novel timeless. I might as well pick up the book 50 years from now and have the same reading experience.
It also means that the highs and lows of the plot are extreme (and sometimes unrealistic) for the sake of character development.
And third, this is a heavy book. And yes, I mean that in every sense possible. Counting almost 800 pages, it’s a brick in your backpack. (You might want to get the e-book if you’re going on vacation with it.) But personally, I liked the length because it lets you breathe. It gives you enough time and space to get to know the characters in depth.
At the same time, this book is Heavy. There’s a lot of abuse, trauma, and violence. (You can find a full list of trigger warnings here.) Stay away from this book if you’re feeling emotionally unstable. I’m serious.
The Hidden Meanings of the Title
It’s also worth talking about the title, as it kept darting through my mind for days after I had finished the book. The title has, as far as I can tell, three meanings:
- This book is literally a little life. You follow these characters for about thirty years of their lives. Naturally, it’s a roller coaster of extreme highs and lows. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced so much happiness and sadness (much more sadness) reading a book.
- The title also refers to Jude’s perspective on his own life. He has severe problems with self-worth and sees his role in life as smaller than that of his friends.
- The third meaning is something we don’t learn until halfway through the book. But when we do, it’s a shiver of ice-cold darkness. The title is used in a context that makes you frown every one of your facial muscles — and you may want to put the book aside for some time.
This is something that happens very often throughout the book. There are many scenes where I had to bury my face into my palms or take a break because things got too dark.
I have a love-hate relationship with this book. Let me explain that further by highlighting three things I loved and two things I hated.
3 Things I Loved
The theme of friendship
Male friendship is the strongest theme throughout the book. I find it absolutely stunning how Hanya Yanagihara depicted such a realistic friendship between four men as a woman.
You see, in our society, men are often in a position where they don’t feel comfortable talking about feelings. And even though the stigma has improved in the past decades, we still grow up believing stupid idioms of “boys don’t cry,” “toughen up,” or “being a man means being strong and dominant.”
The book incorporated these issues by putting the characters in situations that force them to overcome this stigma.
A Little Life also deromanticizes friendship — in a good way. The best friendships aren’t always sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. They inevitably suffer from setbacks and hurt.
The deciding factor between good and great friendships is how well they can bounce back from these difficult times. How much work the parties are willing to invest. And how much the relationship truly means to each party.
Discussing trauma
I’m in the lucky position to say that I had a secure upbringing without traumatic events. This book gave me insights into the horrors of what it’s like to experience a life-long trauma and how it affects not just the victim but also their closest circle.
It made me more compassionate toward other people as a whole. Because you never know what kind of horrors people have buried in their subterranean history. The best approach is always kindness, mercy, and compassion.
The writing
Yanagihara writes like a dream. The scenes are so incredibly graphic and vivid that you can literally see them in front of your eyes. When I was in a particularly long reading session, the page disappeared, and I was warped directly into the world of Jude, Willem, JB, and Malcolm.
2 Things I Hated
The writing
The powerful writing backfires when the scenes involve violence or abuse. Sometimes I screamed out or got serious shivers. (If you read the book, you know the passages I’m talking about). I’m not even sensitive to these descriptions, but imagine the effect of these scenes if you are.
Also, especially toward the end, I had a strong impression that this book lacked editing. The author often repeats the same word directly after each other without any apparent reason. This completely broke the (otherwise beautiful) flow for me.
Torture porn
I heard many people describe this book as torture porn. That is, involving so many graphic, explicit, brutal scenes just for the sake of evoking an emotional reaction. The first 200 pages serve the sole purpose of building a strong relationship with these characters just to tear them to shreds in the remaining 600.
And honestly, I think that’s the purpose of this book — to make the reader feel something (it’s the purpose of any book, really). However, it got repetitive, especially in the second half. All the abuse. All the suffering. All the pain. Imagine taking a shot every time Jude hurts himself. You wouldn’t make it very far.
Don’t Read ‘A Little Life’ Unless…
All things considered, I’m a fan of this book. I still find myself thinking about Jude regularly. And I ask myself what he would do in certain situations, how he would react. After all, I spent all this time with him.
Interestingly, the horrible things that happened in this book weren’t the saddest part for me. What broke my heart was losing the characters I had closed so dearly into my heart when I finally finished the book after so many hours.
And yet, I wouldn’t recommend A Little Life. Quite the opposite: My general guideline is to tell people not to read this book. Do not read this book unless you’re at an absolutely stable, peaceful point in your life.
I didn’t expect much when I started this book, so I was incredibly lucky to have read it during a relatively optimistic season of my life.
So, read the trigger warnings carefully. Do not treat this book lightly. It’s Heavy. It’s reckless. It’s brutal. It’s the saddest book you’ll ever read.
If you’re still doubting if you should read the book, don’t read it. Stay away from it until you have the internal and external support to lift the emotional weight. And then enjoy these bittersweet pages to the fullest.
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